When wearing pants, the hem should be no more than approximately an inch from the ground.  This means that if, when you’re standing, I can see your socks then you are violating this critical rule.  I will mock you for wearing flood pants (or “high water pants” as others call them).

Years ago, when I met Mary Southern Belle through Claude, he was wearing high waters.  The man is a tall drink of water, handsome as sin, has a voice like honey, a glorious southern accent, and is gay as can be.  That night we met I asked him if he had a straight twin brother that was secretly in love with me.  Sadly, the answer was no.

Mary Southern Belle is very tall.  As such, he requires clothes for tall people.  For some unknown reason, MSB fought this and decided to wear pants made for the average man.  When I commented to Claude that MSB’s pants were too short, Claude took one look at him and said (in his best southern accent), “I do declare, it looks like Mary is preparing for the flood.”

Don’t be like MSB.  Unless your pipes just sprung a leak or the rains are causing local flooding, I don’t want to see you in short pants.  And don’t even get me started on tapered pants!  **shudders**

*This public service announcement is brought to you by Catherinette Singleton: making the world a better place by mocking those lacking in good manners, good looks, and fashion sense.

An Important Public Service Announcement*

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