I once wrote a post elsewhere in which, among many underwear options, I mentioned the thong. In this case, it was a man-thong (posing pouch, banana hammock, call it what you will) and I poked a teeny bit of tongue-in-cheek fun at it.

Holy crap, some people are seriously passionate about undergarments.

Thongs (for male or female) I was informed, are AMAZING! Totally SEXY! I should not be such a PRUDE! Any woman who doesn’t wear them is PATHETIC! Thongs are DISGUSTING! Anyone who wears one is PERVERTED! Thongs are UNNECESSARY! Just go commando, you buncha WIMPS! Thongs are PASSÉ, and how could I be so provincial? Thongs are UNHYGENIC! Anyone who wears one is going to DIE OF A DISGUSTING, FECES-BORNE, WASTING DISEASE. (AND IT WOULD SERVE THEM RIGHT, TOO!)

Good heavens. Don’t get yer knickers in knots, people. It’s underwear.

But! Today’s post is not really about all that. That was tangentially-related self-indulgence. THIS post is a warning about the True and Real Danger of thongs.

Really.

Just ask Macrida Patterson, a 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer. Not that long ago, Ms. Patterson had just pulled her brand-new blue Victoria’s Secret thong out of the bag, and set about sliding it on. Now, we’re not quite sure what went wrong at this point. Details are fuzzy. Was she too enthusiastic? Did she tug with a tad too much gusto?

We may never know, but what is a Real and True fact is that Ms. Patterson hurt her eyeball with her panties.

See, this particular bit of lingerie was adored with at least one blue heart-shaped rhinestone. (So tasteful, no?) And it seems the rhinestone wasn’t properly attached to its metal clip, because somehow, in the flurry of activity involved in donning the thong, the piece of metal FLEW UP and nailed Ms. Patterson RIGHT IN THE EYE.

“…the metal popped in my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That’s what happened.”

The damage was so severe, she lost an eye required surgery is now blind in one eye had to apply a topical steroid.

So, all you thong-wearers out there, let this be a lesson to you: be careful with your lingerie, or you, too, could end up in excruciating pain, traumatized, and get an appearance on The Today Show.

That, or you could just skip the rhinestones.

via: Oddly Enough

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 19th, 2008 at 6:01 am and is filed under lingerie. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.