Correctly Impolitic

What do we know about Levi Johnston? We saw him up on the podium at the Republican Convention chewing gum and looking adorable.  If I was seventeen and living in Wassila, Alaska, he would certainly be on my list of possible boyfriends.  Handsome, hockey playing jock… oh yeah! But look where he is today. Holding a Downs syndrome four month old  — in front of the country, for the cameras, and holding the hand of his childhood beloved (and lest we not forget, they are children), to make a point about how wonderful a father and husband he will be.

Let’s just say that Levi Johnston has no choice but to marry the mother of his unborn child.  We’re assuming this, but he obviously doesn’t have a choice.  The good Governor and the Republican party took the kid’s “My Space” page down because it said he didn’t ever want to have children.  Now isn’t that a surprise?  This eighteen year old baby doesn’t want to have a baby - let me rephrase.  This eighteen year old baby didn’t want to have a baby, until his soon to be mother-in-law was selected to be the Vice Presidential candidate on the Republican ticket.

When our pit bull - and that is what she calls herself-made the announcement about how she and Todd were delighted to be grandparents (they were also high school sweethearts), she failed to mention that, as Governor she line-item vetoed funding that would help other young single women support their unborn children.  But when it comes to funding and legislation the McCain/Palin team seem to forget about individual needs.  They talk in the greater scheme of things. (It’s so much easier when it’s not personal or rather inconvenient).  Like we want clean air and water but we won’t fund it, just drill, drill, drill.  We want a better education for our kids-if only those selfish teachers would sacrifice some salary. We want the veterans to be cared for-but not enough to pay for it. And in this case, we want women to choose to give birth rather than have an abortion, but we can’t be responsible for those kids. After all, the pregnancy was about their irresponsible immoral behavior. Oh, but not our kids.  Our kids are different.  They made a choice to get pregnant, have the baby, and marry.  Or was it hot love in the backseat, no thought of consequences, uh oh a baby, what to do now that it is a national scandal. And by the way, we have the means to take care of our kids.  We are happy, happy, happy — so screw those other people (who we insisted carry those babies to term even in the case of rape or incest).  But I digress-which we all know I am prone to do when I’m on a tear.

Levi, poor gum-chewing, adorable, obviously virile,  Levi.  When I watched this young man twitching on the stage it took me back to a time when marrying the pregnant girlfriend, was the right thing to do - unless the girl was a whore.  And really, most of “those” girls were “bad” girls. They grew up with little supervision and absolutely no morals. But time marched on and things changed. “Good” girls got pregnant, school systems accommodated the pregnancies, boys, and I mean boys, were not forced into marriages that were short term (in this case my guess is until the ticket is defeated or the baby is born), and would make everyone miserable.

They have been “seeing” each other,  “going out” for about a year.  I remember when Jordan would say, “Tony (high school boyfriend) and I are going out” and I would ask where they were going.  It was not, in her mind or mine, as much about the person as the actual place. We all go out - for a bite, to a movie, to the bowling alley, or to a place where we can make out.   We do not expect to have to marry anyone as a consequence of doing any of these things.  I’m sure getting married, and certainly having a baby were not in his present time life plan.  But now he is saddled with these serious responsibilities that will play out on a national stage.

So here’s what we should do.  We need to start a Free Levi Johnston campaign.  We all need to vote for Obama so that there will be no need for him to marry Bristol Palin. The grandparents will take care of the baby and Levi can go play hockey, drop by for visiting privileges, and have a normal life.  At some point if he chooses to marry Bristol, so be it.  But right now, let’s help free this kid from the clutches of the pit bull, the Party, and all the pundits.  Please, join the campaign to save Levi Johnston!

Do we really want the President to be just like us? For my part, I do not. Maybe I’m not a good example because, although incredibly smart and intuitive, some think me a bit zany. But do we want the President or the Vice President to be “just plain folk?” We seemed to like it when Jimmy and Rosalyn got out of their secure vehicle and marched down Constitution Avenue, (some of the crack Carter staff were holed up in a warm, comfortable townhouse on Capital Hill), but it was downhill after that. We liked Jimmy Carter, but we didn’t want an “us” running the country, we wanted someone who we could aspire to be—like the wealthy and not so ordinary Ronald Reagan. (This is in no way an endorsement of that Presidency, it is simply a fact.)

When Sarah Palin says she’s ‘just a soccer Mom with kids,’ I think that’s swell. And if ever I knew a kid who happened to live in Alaska and wanted to play soccer, I’d want her to be screaming “kill, kill” on the sidelines. I do not however, want her to be screaming “kill, kill” from the West Wing. We’ve had too much of that already. And by the way, as Governor, she chose for her child to carry a baby to term, but she line-item vetoed funds for other single young women, whose parents couldn’t support them, to care for the children they chose to keep.

In addition, and regardless of the size of her budget as Mayor, or 16 months of being a Governor, her experience is small town, small and unusual State, (they have a surplus of money from oils revenues) neither bears a resemblance to what it takes to govern the United States. You may say that Bill Clinton was the Governor of a small State and look how great he was (the same people who think she’s great, won’t give Bill the same credit.) But he was also a Rhodes Scholar who had traveled quite a bit and lived abroad and had been a Governor for more than a year. True, he didn’t sell the plane on e-Bay, which some might think is fiscally conservative, but as cute as that is, it shows that she never needed to have a plane at her disposal for any international or national emergency and she doesn’t care how inconvenient it is for “just plain folk” when a Governor and all their security need to travel anywhere. Or maybe there have been no threats on her life because she was that unimportant. (And I mean that in the nicest possible way).

John McCain is not just like us — an ordinary person, so you might think I have no issues about his candidacy. Of course, you would be wrong. I would have no problems with John McCain if the list he presented as all the things he would do, did include some of the things he has already supported. Like increased health care benefits for veterans, money for improving the equipment we give to the troops serving in harms way, or alternative fuel research—all of which he has consistently voted against. Or I might not stick my fingers in my ears and run screaming from the room when he says the do-nothing Democrats are to blame for all the problems that exist in the entire universe. I do agree that the Democrats in the Congress have been a disappointment but they have only had the leadership for less than two years. Let’s look at the one thing that has cost the nation the most money and sent us spiraling into financial disaster and deficit—the war. Like good soldiers, they trusted the President’s information was real when they OK’d funding for the war. When they found out the war was based on lies, they still supported funding because it was equated with ‘support of the troops’ – and what person, elected or not, doesn’t support the troops—it’s unpatriotic.

Speaking of not patriotic. Have you noticed that, as citizens, just plain folks, we are no longer allowed to protest, (anything). The Conventions were a perfect example of this loss of civil rights – this time the right to disagree. In Denver, there were police in riot gear just waiting for those veterans to walk close enough to the convention site – to use all the new equipment purchased by funds allocated to the conventions to prevent terrorist attacks. And in St. Paul, the police voided the permits that peaceful demonstrators had obtained to prevent them from demonstrating and then launched into ‘arrest’ mode. Oh there were lots of important arrests — an ABC producer who didn’t move fast enough in Denver, and an NPR radio host and her producers who she was trying to help – we’re not sure they had committed a crime other than just being there.

The questions we need to ask ourselves are many among which might be; do we want more of the same—the lies, denials, misplaced blame, lack of concern for the environment, health, education, and welfare, of people who are not advantaged, as well as a loss of civil and human rights, determination to win an unwinnable war, and ongoing antagonism of any international friends we might have left. Or do we want to be a nation that thinks about the reality of the world as we know it, and use all the tools we have to make it better. And there’s nothing plain about that.

The title of this blog has nothing to do with the content, I just wanted to get your attention. My brother says that if McCain wins he’s leaving the country. There are some people who would say good riddance—not me or my mother, but some people. They would be terribly mistaken if they thought he should go elsewhere. He is not only a ‘personality’ on Bainbridge Island in Washington State, he is also a small business owner, (a bicycle shop) a father and a husband whose wife is a community activist. (My sister-in-law, Els, is Dutch but she has an American passport, and she chose to make a life in this country, and has worked very hard for that life to be successful). They care about the environment, (no paper towels in their house) their community, and the country. They have suffered the consequences of the George Bush Presidencies, and they don’t want eight more years. They have the luxury of being able to go somewhere else where there are friends and family, but what do the rest of us do? (Actually, I said if we all move to Europe, their health care system would pay for mom’s medical care, which was kind of like when I thought Mom should get arrested and then she would go to prison, have a bed, three squares, and all her health issues covered). But seriously folks, what do the rest of us do?

And speaking of serious, what does Biden do in a debate with Palin? First of all, he needs to have at least one woman on the debate preparation team. We cannot forget what happened in New Hampshire with Hillary Clinton. Women around the state hated it when they perceived the male candidates were ‘picking’ on her, and even Republican women came out in force to declare as Democrats and vote for her. Joe Biden cannot be “too smart.” And I respect Senator Biden but like many Senators they want everyone to know how smart they are. He doesn’t have to dumb down, but he does have to talk about the issues in a way that doesn’t seem condescending or he will lose the debate and, like in ’88, Obama will lose the election. (Lloyd Bengtsen won the debate but appeared to bully Dan Quayle - “Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy…” and eventually lost to Bush I.)

There’s lot’s of stuff out there about Palin. The pregnant daughter, who chooses to keep the baby (a choice she doesn’t want the rest of us to have — and she will marry the sperm donor), the controversy about a firing, and the issue about whether or not she’s qualified. But let’s start with the question of motherhood. She has five kids. The last one, who she knew had Down syndrome, she chose to deliver at a hospital without a neonatal care unit. She has five children, who she will leave to go on the road for a Presidential campaign. How is that valuing your family? All of this needs to be left out of a debate. Any controversy about using her position to strong arm a public official into leaving his office because he didn’t fire her brother-in-law. This is small town politics, who cares? This should not be talked about in a debate. And is she qualified? This requires a new paragraph.

The Republicans are doing a great job spinning her qualifications. As Governor she is the Commander in Chief of the Alaskan National Guard. She got her passport in 2006 to go to Kuwait to have lunch with some of the Alaskan troops serving abroad. Certainly that qualifies her to understand US foreign policy. And she was a soccer mom. There is no one more determined to destroy the opposition than a soccer mom. She took on the Alaskan leadership by selling the state airplane on E-bay, and after voting in favor of the ‘bridge to nowhere,’ changed her mind and was against it. If that’s not being a courageous reformer I don’t know what is. She is an expert in energy. It’s not exactly like understanding energy policy, but she knows that it’s foolish for environmentalists to make a big deal about drilling for oil on 2000 acres of an arctic wilderness preserve when there are 2 million acres available—really, what’s the big deal? And energy is the strength she brings to the ticket. Biden cannot ridicule this position because there are so many people who believe this demonstrates good sense.

So what does Biden do? He just answers the questions in a thoughtful and reasonable way and he disappoints the expectations of the Republicans who think he’s going to go after her. He doesn’t have to do anything to prove she shouldn’t be on the ticket. He doesn’t need to point out her lack experience and skills. He just has to keep quiet enough to let Palin be Palin (we know she’s not Hillary), and that should be enough to jar the American public into realizing, depending on their vote, that she could become their reality. And by the way, in case you are curious, let me introduce you to the (possibly) next Vice President’s husband: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mlwpg_QsYnc.

Is it just about boobs?  I’m beginning to think it may be, –which leaves those of us who have some piece of our boobs missing, feel a little second class. However, the question of the day, asked by mostly men is; “do you think the people who were supporting Hillary will vote for McCain because of his Vice-Presidential choice?”  I find that this or any question that implies women will not think about the issues and the consequences of their vote,  insulting. Yep, I am insulted that John McCain thinks anyone who supported the Clinton candidacy will vote for him because he put a woman, (who has a little over a year of national governing, was a professional fisherman, is not only anti-choice but anti-contraceptives, and is a role model for the Phyllis Schaffley constituents), on the ticket.  Does the Senator think we don’t care about the health care, the economy, or the war.  Clearly he thinks we don’t care about the environment or the effects of drill, drill, drill – because she is all about oil dependency.

A heartbeat away. A heartbeat away.  A heartbeat away, from a 72 year old guy who has fought two bouts of cancer.  McCain has made a big deal about how Obama is inexperienced.  And maybe he does not have a resume that reads 30 years in the Senate or 12 years as Governor, but he has traveled, served his community, proved himself intellectually, has a vision for the future of this country, and he has shown good judgment about issues that will impact on the future.  I’m not sure what Governor Palin has other than boobs, and, as a consequence of the last eight years, it’s too late for breastfeeding the nation.

The first thing I thought when I heard about the selection was, McCain doesn’t want to be President.  He and Cindy have decided that they don’t want to change their lives and this was the easiest path to an honorable defeat.  You know, like he made a courageous gender selection for a party which has no respect or understanding for the problems or magnitude of the issues which confront women every day of their lives.  But when you turn on TV and listen to the crap that is spewing forth declaring the Palin decision a fabulous choice because she is a conservative and conservatives are good for women, these people have not spent the last eight years dealing with any reality I know.   John McCain voted against support for insurance companies paying for contraceptives – so she’s right there. Oh, but he did vote to have them pay for Viagra.   John McCain voted no on a bill which would have provided support for children who suffered the consequences of family abuse.  And I guess there is no abuse in conservative families so why provide any support for that. There are many more examples of the lack of any concern for women and what they call women’s issues.  I have breaking news, there are no women’s issues.  There are issues that affect women and families and those impact on men and on how we want our future to look.

Then there are the pundits that say; “she a good choice because her kid is going to Iraq or she is a good choice because she has five kids or she is a good choice because her husband loves her and all this demonstrates her commitment to family values.  What a load. Michelle Obama said it best in a speech I heard her give at the women’s caucus, when she said “we had to stop talking about family values and valuing families”.

But on a lighter note, what does any of this have to do with understanding how to actually Govern this United States.  Do you think she even knows how many Independent agencies exist?  How many boards and commissions need to be filled? Do you think she has ever looked at a Plum Book.  Do you think she has ever looked at the Pentagon budget and understands the level of spending and corruption, and cronyism.  How does she feel about separation of church and state?  What does she want to do about “no child left behind”— and you know there are so many.  I guess she might know about Fisheries – because that’s on her resume, but what about the FDA, the FCC, the FEC?  Can she even  keep track of the acronyms?  Has she traveled abroad?  Which countries does she want to befriend, and how will she deal with immigration.  Has she read “So You Think You Can Be President?”

I feel confident you know where I’m going with this.  A heartbeat away is not a joke. Joe Biden was a thoughtful, respectful selection.  Sarah Palin is just about boobs.

To wrap up the highlights of the week I thought I would start with the bad news and move to the good. You may have read about the ABC producer who was arrested because, when the police asked him to move, he didn’t move quickly enough.  Denver, or Fort Denver as we came to call it, did a pretty good imitation of what it would be like to live in a police state. If Martin Luther King had been in Denver in 1968,  he would never have given the “I have a dream” speech.  But almost as bad as the security was the incompetence of the “volunteer effort”—notice I say the effort not the actual people.  They had no information about anything.  No one knew what was supposed to happen with regard to anything—from transportation to credentials to security.  This creates a situation where everyone says “no or I don’t know” to any questions for which you might need an answer.  At the end of the convention there were 75,000 people looking for a way to leave the stadium and what they found was chaos.  The buses couldn’t move, the traffic was at a dead stop, and the security continued to be excessive.  But let’s move on… please.

People who were waiting for Bill Clinton to be mediocre on Wednesday night had to be disappointed.  He was brilliant.  He said everything he needed to say about the Obama candidacy and  what he needed to say about McCain. It was a speech that combined with what Obama said, should be used as a model for the rest of the campaign. And on the subject of speeches.  All the speakers were good, if not great – except Mark Warner who is usually extraordinary and lacked a little luster.  But Durbin was wonderful, as was Kerry, Richardson, Gore, and of course Barack Obama.

Let’s talk about the night – which was extraordinary.  We left for the stadium at about 2pm because everyone said they were going to close the doors at 5 and would take hours to get through security,  I don’t do well in lines, so we cut around the crowd and it took no time to find seats.  And there we were sitting in seats within the club area.  But they were still football stadium seats – not good for the tush.  We were there for about three hours when I realized that, because were not on the field, it was easier to watch the giant TV monitors than it was to see the stage.  From our seats, which were right across from the podium, the people were just a little too itty bitty.  And I realized that I wanted to be a in a place that was a bit more intimate with people who were not predictable.  Just a note—the 75,000 people at the stadium did not appear to be your usual Democrats – they were conservative, liberal,  old, young, different colors and sizes.

Anyway, we left.  It was not easy because again, no one knew how we were supposed to do that—no provisions for leaving before the speech ended—and as it happened none for afterward either.  We wandered into the parking area where we were directed by at least three people to find a bus.  There were hundreds of buses but none going into Denver. And the distance to the entrance, in order to exit was a mile.  So I commandeered a golf cart and the single only person to say “Yes I can” outside of the hall, drove us to the light rail, which was luckily still running.  When we got back to Denver we found a small, trendy,  almost empty bar, where there was a very nice republican bar tender, who was going to  vote for Obama.  When Al Gore spoke, there were a few more people and by the time Durbin introduced the video the bar was packed inside and outside people had gathered on the street to watch through the windows.  When Obama walked out on the stage,  the bartenders turned the TV volume up as high as possible, and they stopped serving.  It was like nothing I had ever seen.  The bar crowd participated just like they did at the stadium only on a smaller scale.  There was cheering and yelling and many tears. There was the kind of excitement I haven’t seen for too many years.  The Obama speech was thrilling.  It wasn’t just a list of what he was going to do.  He painted a picture of the future he wanted to se for all Americans.  And most of all he put McCain on notice about what kind of campaign he was going to run.  He said would not tolerate any accusations of a lack of patriotism or experience.  He said this election was about judgment, vision and a positive change in attitude.  Then, when the speech was over they turned down the volume, turned up the music, and started to serve drinks.

The decision we made not to be a part of history (at the stadium) was difficult, (Emotionally and physically) but we did give our credentials to some young people who would never have had the opportunity to be a part of what happened at that stadium.  I guess we passed the torch and it felt terrific.

Sunday August 24, 2008

“Stand in back of the white line”.  He didn’t say it in a nice or courteous way, it was an order and we were surprised because there was no reason why he couldn’t have been polite.  We were on line waiting to get into the Pepsi Center in Denver. The convention had not started, there were no VIP’s in the area, and there was no visible threat—except the Denver Police swat teams riding around on tanks.

David just got back from the Olympics and he said he was embarrassed about the Denver “police state” mentality.  He said he would have not been surprised if it happened in China—which it did not. In fact, when they took his watch, camera’s and other metals that might set off the security machine, they placed all his belongings on a red velvet tray.  Pretty nice huh.  Such is not the case in this beautiful, peaceful city.

My cousin Miki, who was with us while we proceeded slowly, very slowly, through the line, insisted the security personnel were not from Denver.  Maybe they’re not but they are taking orders from someone and it ultimately reflects on the city,  (Don’t tell Miki but I think they were from Denver and probably had just gotten off the tanks).  Anyway, there was lots of “walk over there, you can’t walk over there, you need a star on your credential to walk over there.”  It does not bode well for the rest of the week.  Let’s hope yesterday was just a practice and instead of swat teams with machine guns we will see some buses transporting delegates.

Monday August 25

The good news is that it’s much easier to get into the Convention Center—which is not the actual convention center – that’s the Pepsi Center.  (Isn’t it wonderful that every building is named after a product.  And for a mere$4 you can buy a Pepsi or a Diet Pepsi or any Pepsi product).  The Secret Service Agent who was most reasonable about letting the young women who were with the Lifetime TV group stand in the shade instead of the sun, told me that security was tight because of the information they had about threats.  The bad news is that the police remain in overkill.  For example, we walked past a protest 15 blocks away from the Convention where there were no less than eigthy five police in riot gear and no more than 5 protestors, yelling at one another.  One of the protestors  carried a sign that said “Homo sex is a sin”.  This clearly threw the police for a loop because they, like me, probably didn’t know what a homo was.

On another note, David came home from China sick as a moose—dogs don’t always have to take the heat. Our wonderful doctor called in a prescription, and while we waited we sat outside a Starbucks, that happened to be around the corner from the Credentials Center.  It’s the place to sit if you want to see everyone you have ever known in your entire political life.   Of course it is. Everyone has to get a credential. It was such fun catching up with the people I wrote about last week—the people you see (at the most), only every four years, and often for many more.  You see young adults who were babies when you met and grown up’s with children who were still in college when they worked with you on their first campaign.     You exchange gossip, information about politics and of course, what parties you think are a must on the list.

This ongoing four day reunion is the only reason to be in the middle of such chaos.  Sure there are some interesting politics, like someone is spreading rumors about Hillary giving up her delegates, and Hillary people protesting in the street. The Hillary people think the Obama confidantes are spreading them. The Obama people deny that they are involved. And that’s probably true.  So who do we think would benefit from rumors of divisiveness? Maybe the Rebulicans?  Rumors, gossip and misinformation is an unfortunate reality in Karl Rove run campaigns.  And the media are so easy they will write or broadcast anything they think might be controversial.   I wonder what the Democrats will do next week?  I truly hope it’s entertaining.

For whatever reason, last night, I got it in my head that no good deed goes unpunished. There are always consequences, regardless of intentions.  (Ok, that is really a pithy thought – I am so deep).

In the category of never mind about me, let’s talk about me; a note of passing. When I was pregnant with Jordan I refused to wear dowdy maternity clothes and unless you are a celebrity and you don’t care what hangs out, most maternity clothes are unattractive.  I was going to say unseemly but then I would have to be specific in definition – in this case “contrary to accepted standards of good taste.”   Anyway, David was shooting a story about Gene Upshaw the famous football player turned NFL players union representative.  Gene was wearing his official number 63 black and silver football shirt.  He was a big guy and the shirt was enormous.  David explained how whacky I was about maternity clothes and in joking, commented that the football shirt was probably something that would fit me and I would even wear it.  After the shoot finished, Gene took off the shirt and made it a present to me. Twenty two years have passed but I still have the shirt.  Last night when I heard that Gene died, I put the shirt on, said a prayer and sad goodbye to this generous guy who I never met, but wanted a poor pregnant lass to have something to wear.

As long as we’re on the subject of kids, over the last fifty or hundred years (maybe a little exaggeration)  I have spent a great deal of time hanging out with people in their twenties.  It has kept me pretty young and I think sensitive to the issues they often suffer.  Some were my students, some Jordan’s friends and some friends of friends.  It has, for the most part, been a joy. I truly love these kids and if there was a profession called “Kid Hanger Outer” which would pay you for hanging out with (housing, feeding, talking to and loving) young people, I would be an expert in my field.  But it unfortunately costs rather than pays.   In all the years I have been a participant in young lives, I have had only one disappointment. There is a young Iraqi scholarship student presently living with us.  I will not go into detail about how unpleasant he has been (He’s a Christian whose first comment about Jordan’s room—which I cleaned out for him, was that her Jewish star freaked him out).  His family has always been safe and ffor the most part, not endangered by the war,  but suffice to say, we are not parting as friends.

Anyway, I began to think about how so many of us do what we can to make children feel wanted and supported and yes, loved.  The Olympics is coming to an end but is there any better example then Michael Phelps’ mother.  A single parent who found a way to encourage a child everyone believed was beyond help.  She heard “He’s a problem” and “He’ll never be successful” so many times, it would have been easy to say, “oh well”.  But she made a decision to find a way for him to win “the gold” – in life as well as sports. Then I watch “The Nanny” (there is no reasonable explanation for this action but I am fascinated by the total inability of people to cope even when there are no financial problems) and  I see people who abuse their kids or are at a loss to deal with or provide discipline guidelines.  I sit there and think, there should be a test for people to take before they make a lifetime commitment to caring for a child.  Now don’t get excited, this is not a test that the government gives and ultimately makes a decision about whether anyone can  have a child.  This is a  self help test,  which might have a question like:
1.    If your child throws a tantrum in a supermarket because you won’t purchase some crap candy  would you;
a.    Flee
b.    Scream
c.    Hit
d.    Ignore it
e.    Talk them through it
f.    None or All of the above.

I’m not going to answer the question because I don’t know what you would do and my kids have made it through the tantrum stage. Jordan sulked and Seth did the “no bones” thing. That’s when they fall to the ground—totally limp—like they have no bones and scream.  Sometimes yelling “she hates me” or stuff that adds to the humiliation, but we got past it.  You’ll have to ask Seth how I handled it, but he is a perfect adult so whatever I did  didn’t cause any real trauma.

There are parents who try to be friends with their kids and parents who are afraid that if they discipline a child, the child will hate them.  Kids need parameters and they need their own friends.  They want you to guide them through difficult, challenging, or sorrowful experiences, and in order to do that you have to be a parent not a pal.   I could go on about what terrific parents we were but that would be boring and repetitious. I would rather leave you with this incredibly insightful piece of advice, (relevant whether you do or don’t have kids),  we can have disappointed expectations about how children behave (ours or other peoples’), but when we’re dealing with them, it is a mistake let them have disappointed expectations about us.

When you work in Presidential politics there are people who work with you every four years but it is likely you will never see them in between campaigns.  Relationships with these people are as simple as they are complicated.  For example, the only baggage they bring to the political game is how they operated in the last campaign—which was four years before. Were they generous, loving, and sympathetic (none of these matter), or were they efficient, have good gut, and make difficult but productive decisions – these could get you a job in a new Administration.

At the same time that you are inseparable 24/7,  you don’t necessarily know anything about one another’s real lives.  You may know if someone has a spouse and children, but that’s not a given because it’s not important within the context of the campaign, (unless there is something that impacts on the day to day political operation, like a kid has a birthday or a wife has a baby and the player needs to be away from the HQ)   Anyway, a strange thing happens and you start to live like the only people in your life are the campaign people—you don’t have much time for anything else.  You can guess what that means.  Yes, live like the only people who are important in their day to day, are the campaign folks.  And they often have affairs, (which are not catered).  And we are now finding that some candidates have also gone astray.  (Campaigns are not a healthy place for people who want to stay nice).

Today I was wondering what the political players must be thinking about the Candidate Forum last Saturday.  I wonder if, when Pastor Warren asked the question about morals and what the Candidates had done in their lives that they felt was just not up to what they would consider acceptable moral standards, the staff took a deep breath and prayed the answers would be more acceptable than some  candidate actions.  Barack Obama talked about trying drugs when he was young and John McCain talked about his choices in Viet Nam.  Neither mentioned any marital infidelity.

My guess is that Obama has not cheated on his wife (she would have killed him and we would not have a candidate), where we know John McCain certainly did.  Is fidelity important for a nation’s leader.  In France the citizens don’t care.  In Italy there is only trouble if the wife finds out—the voter is irrelevant. I’m not sure what the standards are in Africa, and in the Middle East they just keep marrying everyone – or is that Utah?  Anyway, it’s supposed to be different here. (This is not a personal judgment I am merely the blogger). Here’s what I found so interesting.  Pastor Warren was interviewed about whether he thought that it was possible for Elizabeth Edwards to forgive John.  Warren said he thought Elizabeth could forgive John— forgiving someone was Christian and important. (As a Jew I feel a little left out – what else is new). But he also said that it would take a long time for her to trust him again, if ever she could.   Mr. Edwards would have to earn her trust.  Forgiveness and trust were two different things.

John McCain cheated on his first wife, but in answering the question he felt his Viet Nam decisions were more important and worth mentioning.  But not his marital infidelity. Whew!  I guess my question is, if cheating on his wife was not worth mentioning, can we trust that if he is not faithful to the American people that will not be worth mentioning either.  It’s just a question and I mean it in the nicest possible way.

After years of avoiding a relationship with the Face Book, my cousin was pretty insistent that I had to get with it and make it a part of my life, so my daughter helped me to sign on. I may now be the lonliest person on the Face Book.  Sure I have friends on the Face Book.  I reached out to everyone whose names I recognized.  And thank God none of those people rejected my appeals to “be my friend”, but no one actually chats with me.  Maybe it’s the picture. The picture might be a little depressing because it has a “Brother Can You Spare a Dime” theme. Or maybe it’s my profile which talks about my love of acrobatics.  Acrobatics is a little like gymnastics, but it’s a different version. For example, it does not include anything rhythmic (like when they use the silly ribbons in a synchronized effort).  Nor does it include anything synchronized like diving or swimming or trampolining. But should that impact on my face book popularity.  I am in such turmoil. Should I change to accommodate what attracts other people?  That would be politic but so not me.

I’m trying not to take it personally. But how else can I take it… it is personal.  I mean I see people who are on the face book talking to 10 or 20 other people at a time.  But not me.  I think I’ll just go sit in the dark.  And speaking of sitting in the dark, that’s where I am again about John Edwards.  So now we learn in the “NY Daily News” that Elizabeth forgave him because it was really she who wanted to be in the White House.  It was the way she wanted to live out her life. No one who has ever been in the White House thinks it’s a stress free environment but to “each his own” as my mother would say.  The “News” went on to talk about the videographer –I can’t bring myself to call her by name, maybe (as another friend refers to her) “Webikins” is more fitting, and Edwards good friend Young, who says that it is his baby.  He has a wife and three kids with no visible means of support.  Supposedly,  when the story broke, the gruesome twosome (Hunter and Young) fled to the west coast where, unencumbered by actual work, they lived in a multimillion dollar dwellings.  It does go on and on.  And the more I hear the angrier I get with all of these political, irresponsible,  egomaniacal, idiots. (Am I being too harsh?  Because I mean this in the nicest possible way.)

Shame on Mary Matalin and shame on Joe Lieberman, both of whom think winning with lies and deception are more important than – well, the truth or the public trust. Mary, has a publishing imprint and she publishes right wing drivel. Which is fine as long as you understand what it is. But she has taken the next step and is publishing the same kind of attack crap that was used to defeat John Kerry. It has is no basis in truth and there are no parameters for the lies. But they’ll make a great deal of money and isn’t that what she has always been about. For those of us who are struggling writers we yearn to have the kind of success Jerome Corsi will have with his book. He’s already on the NYTimes best seller list and it isn’t even in stores. But it’s not literature. It’s campaign misinformation. But Mary is a political whore so it is not unexpected (And I mean that in the nicest possible way.) Joe Lieberman is also a whore but he is also a US senator, an orthodox Jew and an Obama colleague. (All of which have boundaries of decency.) What could he possibly be thinking when he says that Obama is a candidate who does not put his country first, who is a talker not a leader, and who has not crossed party lines to get anything done. I guess he like Corsi thinks that there are no limits to the level at which they will sink, “the point is to defeat Obama”.
Whew, I did a little name calling in the preceding paragraph but at least I didn’t attack anyone who has a moral core. Moving on…
Today, for the very first time, I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. My cousin Sheila and I decided we wanted to spend the day walking around NY. And so we met in Chelsea on the West side and ventured across town to the East side. And there it was, the magnificent construction miracle. And we walked from Manhattan to Brooklyn—just like that. It was wondrous. I was exhausted from our adventure so I took the subway home. There is no place better to see how amazingly diverse this country is than when you are walking down a street or riding on the NYC subway system.
When I got on the rain I was entertained by a mariachi band—and one of them was actually schlepping a cello. They were so terrible it was hard to deal with them in a confined space but they were working so hard I gave them a dollar. It is not my practice to encourage subway entertainment – because it is a confined space and always invasive—but these guys were all dressed up and I liked their cowboy boots. When I got off the train I had a race up the subway escalator with an older Indian gentleman who acknowledged that I had won the race but was sure it was because I was much younger—I didn’t argue. Then I went around the corner to my local Tasti D-lite. Tasti is like soft ice cream or yogurt but it has no calories, no fat, is kosher and it is probably just chemicals with flavor—but good flavor. I was eating my Tasti and a man sitting next to me thought I wanted to make conversation. He was wrong but I am never rude. He told me he was an Evangelist Pastor in the Seventh Day Adventist Church. For whatever reaon he confessed that he was going to vote for Obama. And further, (and he believed in separation of church and state) he was advocating for everyone he knew to do the same. I thought that was somewhat surprising, but I guess people are not as shortsighted or stupid a s Mary Matalin and Jerome Corsi think they are. Moving on…
In the “Love song of J Alfred Proofrock, there is a line that always resonates with me and I’m not sure why. It reads “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons”
Today when I was at Starbucks this line came back to me. But it wasn’t because I was in a coffee place—or even because I sit around counting how many coffee spoons it takes to measure my life. It was because when I said “thank you” after the barrista handed me my iced decaf tripio (whatever that means), he said “no problem” instead of you’re welcome. I guess it happens a lot because when I conducted one of my anecdotal surveys, most of the people I asked said that their response to “thank you” is usually “you’re welcome” but they have also noticed that lately, people are responding with “no problem”. So what the heck does that mean? There was no problem making a coffee. There was no problem taking your money. I just don’t know how “no problem” in response to “ thank you” makes any sense. But what makes any sense anymore? Political lies, the Brooklyn Bridge still standing, coffee spoons, a race on an escalator, “no problem”, or an Evangelist voting for a liberal Democrat? I guess the only thing that makes sense is to just keep moving on.