Bush Could Never Pass My Test
The President is a dope—and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Certainly no leader of a great nation would travel to another country for a birthday party, and use that as an opportunity to attack a Presidential candidate. And to further compare that candidate to some British twit who thought the Nazi’s just needed a good dose of “We Are the World”. This is a President who made friends with that good old boy Kaddafi – you remember, he was also a terrorist, or so we said. Bush could never pass my test, but there he sits… continuing to wreck the economy, kill our young people, and not have a clue about health care or the price of gas.
Last night we went to the theater and saw Jackie Mason. If you have never see this very funny “old Jew”—as he calls himself, it is worth the trip. I have a bit of history with Jackie because he started in the Catskill Mountains as a comedian in the “Borscht Belt”. I guess it must have been in the 60’s when he fell from the grace of many hotel owners—my Aunt Ann being one of them. He would do a show at some hotel then come to my Aunt’s place, the Commodore Hotel in South Fallsburg, to drink at our small nightclub. In those days, The Commodore was the place where all the entertainers and musicians would come after hours, so I met some of “the mountain’s” greats. Well, apparently Jackie was not paying his bills anywhere. My Aunt, a big woman who could be terrifying at times, admonished Jackie a few times (admonish doesn’t quite describe what she did but this is a g-rated blog). Finally, one night she marched into the bar took him by the ear –yes, like you see in the movies, and dragged him out to the street – where there were cars racing past at high speed, and she didn’t care. I never saw him again that summer, but when years later I saw him on the street in NY, I reminded him of that episode (I have never been one for subtleties), and I saw on his face, the same look of terror I had seen all those years ago.
Anyway, his show was hysterical but the highlight was that we sat in front of Larry David, Maureen Dowd and Richard Belzer. We struck up a conversation about this and that. I shared with Belzer the fact that my daughter wanted to be the dead body on any “Law and Order” – we are “Law and Order” fanatics. I also reminded Larry that we had met at Obama HQ in New Hampshire. And Maureen and I talked a little about the John Edwards endorsement – but I’ll come back to that.
During intermission we walked out together and talked some more. It seems Maureen saw my appearance on MSNBC, so we talked a little about my book “So You Think You Can Be President” and what was going on with the campaigns. I offered an analogy about Presidential politics and a three ring circus—which I stole from a very witty friend. It was nice to confirm the fact that everybody in Washington watches “Morning Joe”. Moving back from my show to Jackie’s show, it was truly funny. While he does go after the “goyim” (non Jews) in the audience he also goes after himself. And he does the best imitation of Jewish behavior and neurosis I have ever seen. At some point he started to talk about politics. Surprisingly, he never mentioned Rev. Wright but he didn’t miss much else. At one point he asked how many people were likely to vote for McCain, Obama, and Clinton. The result was incredible. In this NY city theater, people cheered for McCain and hardly clapped for their Senator or the one from Illinois. Then he talked about the John Edwards’ endorsement of Obama.
“Who cares what John Edwards thinks,” he said. “No one listened to him when he was running, he lost in the primaries and he dropped out. Why would anyone care that he likes Obama or thinks they should vote for him.” (When he says it, it’s funnier than when I write it). But I don’t disagree. I think however, what was a far more important endorsement, was the NARAL endorsement. I’m not sure why they did it now. They have been avid Clinton supporters and yet they felt, for whatever reason, they needed to make a statement. I don’t know why, since Hillary says she’s going to stay in through all the primaries, these always loyal Clinton supporters needed to make a point. Moreover, I’m not sure what point they made—but they sure did piss off a great many local NARAL people and a whole ‘lotta’ their friends.
Anyway, the good news is that almost all of the candidates have my book – “So You Think You Can Be President” (but you knew that). We’re hoping that Senator McCain will request it before it’s too late. And the single only person who we know can pass the test – yes you guessed it, William Jefferson Clinton is now in possession of his own copy. I anxiously await all their answers. As soon as they come in I’ll happily let you know who we think gets the highest grade.
