The Perpetual Tourist

REI is the leading retailer of quality outdoor gear. As the weather turns gradually warmer, outdoor enthusiasts have more and more options (for me, it’s not “summer,” it’s “camping season”). Maybe this is the year that you take up kayaking, or hike the AT, or you’re planning some other great adventure. Either way, you’re going to need gear, and REI has got the best of it.

I like REI not just for their quality merchandise, but also their guarantee. They stand behind their products 100%, so you can return anything you’re not completely satisfied with. Because of the generous return policy, REI sees a lot of returns, but they don’t just put these items back on their shelves. They go into a special stock that REI sells back to members at huge discounts - 30%-80% off nearly new merchandise, and even bigger discounts when the items have some damages. Some larger stores have whole departments dedicated to this discounted merchandise, but most REI stores sell these items at special events called Scratch and Dent Sales, Attic Sales, or Garage Sales, depending on the store.

I talked to an REI employee to get the scoop on these sales. First thing’s first: you have to be an REI member to buy anything at the sale. No biggie — membership is only $20, and you get all sorts of benefits, detailed here. Each individual store is responsible for scheduling its own garage sales, and the schedule is often dictated by the flow of returned merchandise, so check with your local store for details. There are usually about six of these sales per year, so you’ll have plenty of opportunities to snag great deals. According to my friend on the inside, the best way to find out about the garage sales is to sign up for Gearmail, which is a store-specific newsletter that will notify you of any special promotions and discounts, including the used gear sales.

So here are some insider tips for taking advantage of the garage sales:

1. Arrive early. Usually, lines start forming at the doors about an hour before opening time. Most of the best deals are gone within the first hour or so of the sale, so if you want the deep discounts, set your alarm clock.
2. Line up at the right entrance. Find out which entrance is closest to where the sale will take place, and be sure to get in line there so you can be among the first to set eyes on all the bargains.
3. Keep in mind that used gear sales are the ONLY time all sales are final at REI. Don’t just buy everything that you can afford. Inspect what you’re buying and make sure it’s what you want, because they won’t take it back this time.

Outdoor supplies can be really expensive, especially when you’re looking at the quality merchandise that REI carries. You’ll get your money’s worth even when you pay full price, but before you max out the credit cards, try saving some money in your gear budget so you reallocate those funds for something else — like more trips, more fun, more gear.

One last plug for REI: did you know that the company donates millions of dollars as well as volunteer hours each year toward conservation efforts? Read more about how REI is giving back to nature here.

The following is a true story about how airport security is making the skies safer for all travelers. Shortly after Sept. 11, 2001, I took a flight to New York City to visit my brother for a week. This was at the absolute height of all the security crackdowns and paranoia, and getting through the security checkpoint was a nightmare. For my 45-minute flight, I was advised to arrive three hours early to the airport, and I needed every minute of that time, as the security lines were endless.

I had my laptop in my carry-on backpack, but all the cords were in my checked luggage, and the battery was broken, so I couldn’t turn it on without the plugs. When I got to the front of the line and realized that they were making everyone turn on their laptops for inspection, I realized I might have a problem. I started sweating about having my computer confiscated, or being detained for failing to comply with a law I didn’t even know about. I was so nervous that by the time I got to go through the metal detector, I probably really looked like I was up to something. I took off my shoes, assumed the position for my complimentary pat-down, and then approached the last TSA agent in a long line of uniforms that each traveler was required to visit.

He asked me to turn on my laptop. It was open on a table in front of us, and I started to explain. “I can’t. The battery won’t work.” I held my breath and prepared for the worst. Then he waved me through, without even touching my computer. Maybe you think I should have been relieved at the relative ease with which I made it through security, and I was, of course, but more than that I was outraged. I had just stood in line for an eighth of my whole day because heightened security was allegedly of the utmost importance, and those agents didn’t even give a crap! I’m sure if I had darker skin, or perhaps a penis, this would have been much more problematic for me, but really — if passengers have to turn on computers to guarantee they’re not actually bombs, then shouldn’t they at least PRETEND to inspect my laptop when I say I can’t turn it on?

It was then that I realized that airport security is a hoax. No one is looking for threats, or trying to protect anyone else. They’re just going through the motions as the paranoia laws dictate, because that’s what they have to do to collect a paycheck. I feel no safer for having to walk through metal detectors and put my personal items through an x-ray machine so some guy behind a screen can know my preferred toiletry brands and that I enjoy kakuro puzzles. But this revelation achieved nothing, except making me a bit more hostile toward airports, because realizing the security is BS doesn’t mean I can skip it.

Mercifully, security checkpoints aren’t as bad as they were immediately following the 2001 terrorist attacks, but it’s still a giant hassle. I’ve flown dozens of times already this year, and I’ve got some insights about getting through security that could speed it up for you and others.

The federal airport security guidelines are listed here, and it’s important to be familiar with these rules to make sure you pack accordingly. But you should also realize that just because something is permitted, that doesn’t mean it will be easy to get through security with it. The biggest change recently is the ban on liquids. It’s eased up a little bit, but you still have to follow specific instructions to get your liquids through the checkpoints. This is not worth it, as it will cause a holdup while the inspectors check to be sure you followed the guidelines properly. You can buy food and drink at inflated prices in the terminal. Unless you have something that you absolutely must bring with you, don’t even bother. Any items that have restrictions will cause delays for you and the people behind you, even if you are following the proper guidelines.

Always err on the side of caution. It’s not actually legally required for travelers to remove their shoes (if the soles are under 1″ thick) at the checkpoint now, but just try going through without taking them off. I tried walking through in a pair of no-soled flip-flops last month and got a stern reprimand from a power-tripping TSA-hole who made me remove them, even at the very moment that the security recording that plays on a loop got to the part about not having to take off shoes. It’s just not worth trying to get away with anything, even if what you’re trying to “get away with” is perfectly legal. Put any liquids, cosmetics, and things with sharp edges in your checked luggage, and remember that the airport is no place for your lace-up knee-high boots.

In addition to checking the security guidelines before you pack, you should check with any airlines you’ll be traveling with for their luggage guidelines. Different airlines have different requirements, and unprepared travelers are often stuck with fines or left scrambling to rearrange their bags at the check-in desk. Most airlines allow two pieces of checked luggage per person, weighing up to fifty pounds each, but some airlines are cutting down to allow only one free checked bag, and charging hefty fines for additional luggage.

Most airlines also allow one carry-on bag and one “personal item.” The spirit of the term “personal item” is meant to indicate a small briefcase or purse, but many travelers try to get away with just bringing two giant carry-on bags and calling the second their “personal item.” You can often get away with this, as airlines aren’t terribly strict about enforcing their carry-on rules, unless the flight is full. Then there’s simply not enough room in the overhead bins, and passengers are forced to check more luggage — this can be a problem if you’ve packed fragile things in your carry-on, expecting to be able to hang onto them during your travels. It’s best to prepare for the possibility of having to check your carry-ons, just to be safe. Better yet, pack lightly so you won’t have any problem storing your carry-on under the seat in front of you if the overhead bins fill up.

Airport security and airline regulations are constantly changing, so it’s very important to familiarize yourself with the guidelines before you fly. Proper preparations before you arrive at the airport will save you lots of time and hassle. But just in case the jerk in front of you in the security line isn’t as prepared, it’s always a good idea to bring a good book.

I love Nevada. Reno and Las Vegas are both fantastic places to vacation on the cheap or have a really luxurious stay, and there’s never a shortage of entertainment. They’re also world famous for being a hot wedding destination — but do you want to have your wedding there?

I also write for a site called AisleDash that covers all things wedding, and we hear from brides and grooms all the time who are so fed up with their wedding planning that they want to just drop everything and go elope in Nevada. Many of them end up doing just that.

When you stay in a major hotel in Vegas, there are two guarantees: it will have a casino and it will have a wedding chapel. In fact, it’s pretty hard to find Sunday services in Vegas, but there are chapels everywhere just for the purpose of getting you hitched in a hurry.

Nevada is a convenient place to get married, because there’s no waiting period for marriage licenses like many other states require. In fact, it’s so easy to get married in Vegas, you can even go to a drive-thru window and leave a newlywed. For some couples, this is perfect. It’s low-stress, simple, and cheap. But for couples who dream of having a fairytale-style romantic wedding in Vegas, I say, don’t kid yourselves.

Vegas is fun, exciting, and sexy, but it is not romantic. Do you really want to exit the chapel after saying your vows only to open the door to a smoky casino full of drunk tourists? And where do you suppose you’ll do your wedding photos? You only get to rent the chapel for an hour, because there will be others lined up behind you, and the only place you’ll find any privacy is in your hotel room, unless you shell out big bucks to rent a fancy party suite. Okay, if you have that kind of wedding budget, then I suppose you can have a nice wedding in Vegas. But why bother, when the same budget would go a lot farther someplace farther away from all the drunk tourists?

If you’ve never had dreams of a perfect wedding and you just want to have a laid back ceremony surrounded by friends, then a Vegas wedding could be ideal. After tying the knot, you can run around the city with all your buddies, seeing shows and going up against the one-armed bandits. As a guest, that’s the kind of wedding I’d love to attend. It’s just that most brides have different visions of how their weddings should be. But a honeymoon in Vegas might be just the ticket to follow your fairytale wedding somewhere else.

We’re well into March Madness now, and just a few games away from finding out who will be playing in the 2008 NCAA Final Four in San Antonio, Texas. Whether your team makes it or not, seeing the Final Four live is a thrilling experience for any college basketball fan. According to the NCAA website, tickets are still available through the NCAA Ticket and Hospitality Packages, so it’s not too late if you haven’t decided yet.

One of my favorite things about big sports events is that there’s so much going on besides just the big game. There are tons of sponsors, and all those sponsors set up events and activities for the fans in attendance with free entertainment and giveaways. This year in San Antonio, there will be free performances by Fall Out Boy, Kid Rock, Taylor Swift, 3 Doors Down, Robert Earl Keen and more still to be announced.

At Hoop City, open each day of the five day event, fans can compete in games, take clinics, go to autograph sessions, and meet basketball celebrities of the past, present, and future. In addition to all the music and basketball, there will be parties, fireworks, and fun for the whole family. Find the full schedule of events here.

While the men get all the attention, the women are playing their own tournament, and the Women’s Final Four is a major event, too. The women’s championship will be held in Tampa Bay, Florida this year. You’ll find many of the same events in Tampa Bay, with games, parties, and clinics. Find a complete schedule of events at the Women’s Final Four here.

Those who go to either (or both) of this year’s Final Four tournaments will get to welcome spring in a sunny city. They’ll play games, be entertained and get lots of freebies courtesy of the tournament’s sponsors. Oh yeah, and there’s some basketball, too. Good luck with your brackets, and may your favorite team win (as long as your favorite team isn’t UNC).

The Mall of America really is a tourist trap in a very literal sense. When I was a tourist in Minnesota’s Twin Cities last year, I had absolutely no interest in visiting such a monument to consumerism as this, but my friend, a local, insisted that I had to see the MOA. And once I was inside, I’m ashamed to say, I never wanted to leave. (And I knew that would happen!)

Think of any product you’ve ever heard of. Make it as obscure as you want. They don’t just sell it at the Mall of America; it’ll have a whole store devoted to just that one obscure product. You may wonder how such a store could make enough money to pay the rent, but if you ever go inside the MOA, you’ll understand. There’s more traffic in there than in the Holland Tunnel at rush hour.

You would have to have will power stronger than that of the Buddha to get out of the MOA without spending any money. It will have stores that carry that thing you’ve just been dying to have, even if you didn’t know you were dying to have it. Go ahead and treat yourself — they don’t charge sales tax in Minnesota.

And it’s not just the stores that will draw you in. When I was younger, I heard tales of the indoor roller coaster at the Mall of America, but that’s just the start. There’s a whole amusement park in there, with several coasters and other rides. Of course there are movie theaters and restaurants (some quite a bit fancier than you find in most malls), a LEGO universe, and according to the website, lots more attractions that I don’t even remember seeing (the mall is far too vast to catch everything in one trip) like an aquarium, mini golf, and a flight simulator. (Holy crap! I need to go back…)

I’m really not a big fan of the whole mall scene, and the guy who took me to the MOA definitely isn’t a mallrat (a film, which, incidentally, was shot at another mall in Minnesota just a few miles away from the MOA), yet I really could’ve enjoyed myself probably for several days before getting bored there. Is the MOA alone worth a trip to Bloomington? If it’s within driving distance, sure! If you’d have to fly, you may want to line up some other activities besides hanging out at the mall for your trip, but there is a lot to do in and around the Twin Cities, so I say go for it. Just set a spending limit and try to stick to it — it won’t be easy.

By now it’s impossible to avoid all the news stories about the flailing US economy. Even if the latest woes haven’t affected you anywhere else in your life, they’re almost certainly affecting your travel agenda. With gas prices hitting new record highs each day and the value of the dollar plunging against other world currencies, travel plans you made a year ago are now a lot more expensive than you’d budgeted (unless you’re Canadian or European, of course).

Unless you’ve got money to burn, a European vacation probably isn’t in the cards for you this summer, but if you’re still hoping to get a stamp in your passport, there are some places where the US dollar can still buy a nice vacation. Why not consider a trip to Central America this summer? With exchange rates as they are, you’ll find you can stay in comfortable hotels for about $10 per night, and some Central American luxury hotels won’t cost you more than $50 for one night’s stay. Some places are more expensive, sure, but you don’t have to travel too far off the beaten path for great deals, and no matter where you go, the bill won’t be nearly as high as a European vacation.

History buffs will love visiting the ruins of ancient civilizations. You’ll find spectacular Mayan pyramid temples at Chichen Itza in Mexico and Tikal, Guatemala, among other sites.

Central America is also a nature lover’s paradise, with rich rain forests full of diverse wildlife, gorgeous rivers and beaches, and towering mountains.

Many of the mountains in Central America are actually volcanoes. The most strenuous thing I’ve ever done to date was when I hiked Volcan Pacaya in Guatemala when I was seventeen years old. The three-mile hike took almost all day, as the active volcano was covered in fresh ash, meaning that for every step two feet up the mountain, we slid down about a foot and three quarters through the ash. The struggle was worth it for the breathtaking views of both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans at the top of the volcano. Then sliding down the ashy mountain on our way back took all of fifteen minutes for what had taken hours in the other direction.

Most of Central America is Spanish-speaking, but don’t worry if you don’t know the language. There are many Spanish schools for tourists throughout the area, and you’ll be surprised at how much you can learn from a few days of classes. If you do sign up for a school, be sure to choose one that takes frequent field trips. Most of the classes aren’t really classes at all, but controlled immersion. It’s loads more fun than regular school.

Most will agree that the best beaches are in Costa Rica. After all, the country’s name translates to “Rich Coast.” So if climbing pyramids and volcanoes isn’t really your thing, you’ll find plenty of ways to relax, too.

I’ll leave you with one warning about Central American travel. Don’t think the Spanish that you learned in school will get you very far. You probably learned Spain Spanish, and you may find out the hard/funny way that a lot of those words don’t mean the same thing in Latin America. On my first day in Guatemala, I asked about a dozen shopkeepers where I could find maxi pads for my brother (really he needed to buy a towel) and where we would go if we wanted to have sex with (catch) the bus.

For the past week, I’ve been able to venture out of my house without a heavy coat. Weather in Virginia is tricky, so it’s hard to say if I can safely pack my winter clothes in the back of my closet now, but it’s nice to have a taste of warm weather to come, anyhow. If I’ve successfully shaken the flu by tomorrow, I’ll probably go for a hike this weekend. If only I had six months free, I’d be starting the Appalachian Trail this weekend. At least I have time to tackle a familiar section of it for now.  But if you have six months of free time, here’s your chance to join the elite ranks of the Appalachian Trail 2000 milers — that is, those that hike the entire 2,175-mile trail from Georgia to Maine (or Maine to Georgia, or some other route that covers the entire trail). Most thru-hikers take the northbound route, starting in March or April at Georgia’s Springer Mountain.

75 miles of the AT lie in Georgia, and it’s a good place to get warmed up for the rest of the hike, as you’ll have some strenuous climbs, but mostly lower elevations than the rest of the trail, so you can prepare your lungs for what’s ahead. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most difficult, Georgia receives a difficulty rating of 6. You can find out early in your journey if you’re going to be able to handle the entire hike.

If you’re only planning a day hike, wait until the late spring and early summer months for the nicest weather and fewer crowds, as Georgia is crowded with thru-hikers and Spring Breakers in March and April.

You’ll walk through the state’s self-proclaimed hiker’s paradise, the Chattahoochee National Forest, and cross many creeks and springs, but no major rivers or lakes in this section of the hike. Don’t be surprised if you find cold weather and even snow in the higher elevations of northern Georgia, which is also subject to more rain than the rest of the state. There are bears along the trail, but there have been no reports of bears attacking hikers. However, they will steal your food if you leave it in reach, so when you camp at night, you should hang your food from the bear cables provided at each of the shelters.

The Appalachian Trail Conservancy recommends this guidebook for Georgia AT hikers. For more information about planning and preparing for a thru-hike, visit the ATC page here.

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a paleontologist, a firewoman, a professional basketball player, an Olympic speed skater, a flying trapeze artist in the circus, a zookeeper, a dolphin trainer, an actress, a writer (hey! I got one!), a candy taste tester, the Easter bunny, a professional Nintendo player, and a carpenter. Most of these ambitions faded as I realized the glory of such professions was small compared to the hard work (and often danger), and my college didn’t offer Nintendo classes. While I no longer harbor hopes for many of these occupations (though I think Easter bunny may still be within reach), it would still be cool to get to live a day in the life of some of these people.

Most of us had high hopes as children, and some people never let go of these dreams. Others may not constantly daydream about what could have been, but would still relish the opportunity to fulfill such goals. Enter Cloud 9 Living. This company is built around the idea of experience gifts, and offers you the chance to live a day in the life of many of those professionals you once dreamed of becoming.

The company has loads of experience gifts to choose from, so I recommend browsing their website to see if any of your childhood (or current) dreams are attainable through Cloud 9. Here are some of the ones that caught my eye:

Americas Cup Sailing - Spend the day sailing aboard a racing yacht in the San Diego Bay.

Dogsled Tours - You can tour the Colorado wilderness with a team of huskies in this adventure. It’s your choice whether you drive the sled or just ride along.

Private Ninja Lessons - Every boy I knew in kindergarten wanted to be a ninja. With this package, you train with a master in ancient martial arts techniques. You probably won’t be a very effective ninja after only one day, but it’s a start.

Stunt and Special Effects Workshop - This one is for people who like playing with fire. You work on a stunt playground with a Hollywod special effects coordinator, learning how to stay safe while testing your limits.

Air Combat Mission - With the help of experienced instructors, you do 75% of the actual flying in these Top Gun air combat exercises. You can keep it basic or try sophisticated aerobatic maneuvers.

The experience packages are available in many different regions of the country, so you might find one near you, or you might work the adventure into other travel plans. I’ve highlighted a lot of adventure packages, but there are tamer ones, too, like posing for a photo shoot as you live the life of a supermodel and dozens more that don’t require safety training.

Unfortunately, even though they have enough experiences to satisfy even the highest ambitions of our childhood imaginations, there’s no Easter bunny experience. Oh well.

The drive up I-81 from Virginia into Pennsylvania is fairly pretty, as car trips go. The traffic is never too bad, and there are mountains and rivers to admire all the way there and back, but when you’ve made the drive a hundred times or more like I have, even the four or five hour trip can be pretty miserable.

When I was a kid on family trips to visit my aunt in Philadelphia, my parents would break the monotony by stopping for little side trips, mostly educational like Civil War and Revolutionary War battlefields, historic houses, or the occasional detour that made them simultaneously the best parents ever (in my opinion) and the worst parents ever (in the opinions of anyone who had to deal with me afterward) — a trip to Cinnabon for ooey, gooey, goodness — in a box of twelve!

I’m quite a bit more health-conscious now than I was when I was eight, and I’ve seen those battlefields plenty of times now — the stories haven’t changed much in two hundred years, so I’ve grown out of that kind of pit stop. Still, I haven’t grown up enough to handle a multi-hour drive gracefully, so I need something to break up the journey, lest I become an unbearable travel companion.

My solution is live music. McKenzie and I are really into folk music, which is perfect because the venues that host these shows tend to be cozy and usually have tickets available on short notice. We always build some flexibility into our plans in case we find out that one of our favorites will be making a stop somewhere along our path to or from our destination. We’re familiar with lots of concert halls all up and down the east coast, but you don’t have to know the areas to find a good show. Pollstar is a great tool to find a show near where you are or where you will be, and you can search for all your favorite artists at once.

As we were trying to decide on our plans for our return home from this week’s Philadelphia Flower Show, we got an email from the Steep Canyon Rangers saying they’d be in southeastern Pennsylvania for two weekend shows. Perfect! A quick internet search found hotel reservations for us for one night in York, PA, and plans to see tonight’s show and the Sunday matinee in Mt. Holly Springs on the way home. (This is definitely a band worth seeing twice in one weekend.)

I wish I had the experience to recommend the best venues anywhere in the US, but I do know a thing or two about Virginia music halls. The best ones are easily accessible from the major interstates and quite possibly along your route as you travel up and down the east coast. Off I-95 near Richmond is Ashland Coffee & Tea, a venue I’ve heard many artists profess to be their favorite stop on a tour. When the artist loves the venue, you’re sure to get a good show. Off I-64 in Charlottesville is my home away from home, the Gravity Lounge, featuring an extensive beer and wine list to go with all the best acts in the folk world today. And in the DC area, my top picks are Jammin’ Java for intimate shows and Wolf Trap for larger shows (and not just folk music; also a good mix of theater and other music genres).

Not only is live music a fun diversion from a long, boring car ride, but it gives you a much needed burst of energy, and you have the opportunity to pick up some new tunes for the car CD player as well. If you have the flexibility to take a few hours off your drive or add an extra night in a hotel somewhere, stopping for a concert can be the best way to keep from getting road weary.