The Perpetual Tourist

It’s hard to say if airport security lines have gotten better or worse since 9/11/01. Travelers don’t have to jump through quite so many hoops to bring electronics on board a plane, but there are all those new things we have to do like removing our shoes and separating our liquids into tiny clear containers. Getting through security is still a drag, no doubt.

That’s why I was shocked to learn that the TSA plans to lift some restrictions at airport security checkpoints. According to a press release from the TSA, passengers will no longer be required to remove laptop computers from their cases to go through the x-ray scanner, provided that the carrying case meets certain guidelines.

In March, the TSA reached out to bag manufacturers to encourage production of these checkpoint-friendly designs. While the TSA is not endorsing any particular bag, manufacturer, or design, they have announced that approximately 40 new bag designs available for purchase this August meet the acceptable criteria.

The criteria provided by the TSA are as follows:

• The bag must have a designated laptop-only section
• The laptop-only section completely unfolds to lie flat on the X-ray belt
• No metal snaps, zippers or buckles inside, underneath or on top of the laptop-only section
• No pockets on the inside or outside of the laptop-only section
• Nothing packed in the laptop-only section other than the computer itself.

Bags like this are checkpoint-friendly, according to the TSA

You will still have to remove laptops from accordion and backpack style cases

My only concern is that this initiative could backfire when people try to sneak around the restrictions, sending non-checkpoint-friendly laptop bags through the scanner without removing the laptop, thus causing further delays when they have to send the bag through a second time after taking out the laptop. You know it’s going to happen, just like every person on your flight is going to bring oversized carry on luggage.

It’s really nice to see the TSA working with the public to make the airport experience a little less miserable, but until everyone learns that the rules actually do apply to them, I predict that delays are going to be a regular part of the process.

I used to be a very lucky traveler. In all my frequent flying, I was rarely delayed by more than a few minutes and hardly ever ran into any major hassles at any airports. Then the economy shat the bed — and in this analogy, the airline industry might as well be the bed.

Having cut personnel tremendously to deal with rising operational costs, the airlines are ill prepared to deal with the problems that once only created minor delays, but now cause flight cancellations and much longer delays, leaving more and more passengers stranded in airports.

In most cases, if an airline cancels your flight, they’ll put you in a hotel room near the airport for the night — assuming the rooms aren’t all taken by other disgruntled passengers. All too often, you’re going to find yourself forced to camp out in an airport overnight — maybe it’s because your next flight will take off at 5:30am, or because there just isn’t anywhere else to go. In any case, when you fly, you should be prepared to sleep in an airport.

If you end up stranded and can’t get a hotel room, the first thing you should do is ask the airline staff about lounges. Those swanky private rooms that usually require special memberships often have comfy furniture that’s perfect for someone looking to catch a little shuteye. If you don’t have a membership, a little politeness goes a long way — the airline knows they’re the reason you’re stuck, so as long as you don’t scream at the person who can help you, they’ll usually bend the rules to keep you as satisfied as possible.

When that doesn’t work, your next step is to just find the most comfortable space you can. Don’t just go to the gate and wait there — chances are, you can find a better place to plant. Try the arrivals lounge, which tends to have better furniture than the departure area. If that fails, simply look for a quiet corner without as much foot traffic. Pull some chairs together to make an almost-comfortable bed for yourself, or curl up on the floor if you must.

Our travel itinerary may not include an overnight layover, but anyone who flies should be prepared. There are a few small items you can pack in your carry-on luggage that will make airport snoozing much more comfortable for you:

• disinfectant wipes — it’s always a good idea to wipe down any furniture that gets used by dozens of people every day before you collect all their germs, whether you’re spending the night or just a few minutes.
• inflatable pool float — when deflated, these don’t take up much space in your bag, and can be easily inflated for a much nicer “bed” than the floor or airport chairs, and they provide a buffer between you and the germ-infested floor.
• earplugs or headphones — there are constant announcements in airports, and inevitably a screaming child or two. If you don’t want to wake up every two minutes, make sure you have a way to block out the noise.
• wear layers — you never know what the temperature will be like inside the airport. If it’s too cold, you’ll never get comfy enough to sleep without something to keep you warm. If it’s too hot, you can always take your sweater off and use it as a pillow.
• entertainment — in the event that you simply cannot get comfortable enough for sleep, you’ll need something to keep you from dying of boredom while you wait through the night. Books, puzzles, a portable DVD player — don’t neglect to pack these things just because you thought you were only going to be flying for three hours or so. You never know…

www.sleepinginairports.net

No one wants to sleep in an airport, but it only takes a little extra space in your luggage to prepare for an unexpected campout, and packing a few cautionary items can be the difference between a decent night’s sleep and the most boring, uncomfortable night of your life.

For extensive reading on airport sleeping, visit The Guide To Sleeping In Airports.

I have been a Priceline user for a while. I can sometimes find better deals booking directly through the provider, especially when that provider is Southwest, but Southwest doesn’t fly to Medford, Oregon, and after comparison shopping on all the travel sites, Priceline had the best deal on a flight to Medford — or so I thought.

After yesterday, I am a very dissatisfied customer. Getting here was an incredibly stressful experience for me, and the problems I faced really shook my confidence in this leading provider of cheap airfare and hotel deals.

When I booked my flight, I got stuck with one of those multiple airline, multiple stop deals. Priceline scheduled me to fly from DC to JFK on Delta, and then switch from Delta to United Airlines for JFK to San Francisco, then Frisco to Medford, with layovers of just under 90 minutes each. It was going to be a long day.

By the time my Delta flight took off, nearly an hour late, I knew my chances of catching my connection were slim. We made up some time in the air, though, and were only about 30 minutes late arriving in New York. That still gave me an hour to catch my next flight. Right?

No such luck. JFK is a HUGE airport, and each major airline has its own terminal. To get from one terminal to another, you have to actually go outside and enter the new terminal through its own security checkpoint. I was screwed.

It took me 30 minutes just to get from the gate where I landed to the check-in counter outside the United terminal, where I found out my flight had already boarded and was pulling away. Furthermore, I was told, even if my first flight had landed on time, I still wouldn’t have made this flight. You have to check in at least 30 minutes prior to boarding to even be allowed through security.

“Who booked this flight for you?” asked the agent. “This is an impossible itinerary.” I was livid. It had been years since I’d flown into JFK. I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be able to get from Delta to United without going through security again — at most airports, you can get from terminal to terminal from beyond the security gate, so it didn’t even occur to me at all that I’d have to do that again.

I didn’t know better, but Priceline should have. This flight shouldn’t even have been available. Like the ticket agent told me, it was an impossible itinerary. Shame on you, Priceline.

I’m glad I decided against checking bags on this trip. Had I checked a bag on the first leg of my flight, it wouldn’t have made it onto the next plane — or maybe because of the multiple airline schedule, I’d have had to pick it up at baggage claim and re-check it — making catching the connection doubly impossible.

I’d never flown multiple airlines on the same trip before, unless you count airline partners, like the regional operators and international carriers that are still technically the same airline, for travel purposes. I am going to avoid this in the future. You need an incredibly long layover to ensure that you can make your next flight after crossing the airport, checking in again, clearing security again (where necessary), and re-checking bags (again, I don’t know if I would have had to do this, but I’m guessing that I would have), and who likes a long layover? And now with several airlines charging for each checked bag, would I have to pay twice if I flew two separate airlines? Just guessing again, but I’m thinking yes.

I did make it to Medford, and all my bags made it with me (but only because I packed lightly enough to carry everything on the plane), so I admit that this trip could’ve been a lot worse. Even so, I think my relationship with Priceline is over.

As a tree-hugging environmentalist, I’ve always argued that rising fuel prices are a good thing.  As gas becomes unaffordable, people are forced to change their most environmentally destructive behavior.  Those who can’t cut driving and travel entirely out of their lifestyles turn to more fuel efficient vehicles like the Toyota Prius and other hybrid cars, or they utilize public transportation and carpools more often.  As rising fuel costs make it impossible for the general population to go on living life as they always have, change will be absolutely necessary, and it is my belief that it will come in the form of environmentally friendly renewable energy sources to power cars and planes — cleaner, more affordable fuel.

This trend is already starting to show.  Whether folks listen to Al Gore or not, they can’t help but listen to their bank accounts.  That’s why we’re seeing a real decline in driving and fuel consumption, while we’re also seeing an increase in use of public transportation and carpools.  Airlines have been suffering perhaps most of all, as they can’t increase fares enough to keep up with rising costs of flying their planes, and fewer people are flying due to a combination of higher costs and the slumping economy.  Those who are still frequent fliers (hi, that’s me) are noticing some big changes put in place by airlines to offset the rising costs of keeping their planes in the air.

Two major announcements came recently from the airlines that have some travelers absolutely outraged.  The first was that planes will be slowing down to conserve fuel.  Just as cars do, airplanes get better mileage when they slow down a little, so airlines are doing just that.  But before you flip out about having to sit even longer in those cramped little seats, look at the actual statistics.  Most airlines are adding at most 10 minutes to their flights, while at the same time saving millions on fuel.

For example, on an international flight from Paris to Minneapolis, a Northwest Airlines flight added just eight minutes to the total flight time of almost nine hours, saving 162 gallons of fuel and $535.  $535 for eight minutes is a pretty good return.  Add this up across the board and airlines will save millions of dollars while saving tons upon tons of fuel — and the reality is that most travelers won’t even notice the extra few minutes of flight time.  This is not something to get upset about as an airline passenger.  But of course, people will…

The second major change is that airlines are charging more for checked luggage.  They have always charged fees — often very high ones — for oversized bags.  That is, bags weighing over 50 pounds.  Most airlines have generally allowed up to two free checked bags per passenger, in addition to two free carry-on pieces.  However, since airlines can only increase fares by so much before passengers bail completely, they are adding fees wherever possible, most notably to check luggage.  Southwest Airlines changed their luggage policy from two free checked bags per passenger to one earlier this month, but the big news came when American Airlines announced it would start charging fees for all checked luggage.

Other airlines are expected to follow suit.  So what does this mean for you?  Well, you can be the asshole who tries to stuff your giant bags into the overhead bins on the plane, or you can accept that packing huge bags adds weight to the plane and therefore reduces its fuel efficiency, and adjust accordingly.  Pack as much as you can into a reasonably-sized carry-on bag, and try to fit everything else into one less-than-50-pound suitcase.  With American’s new policy, your first piece of checked luggage will be $15, and your second is $25.  I’ve just returned from five weeks on the road — DC, Texas, Oregon, North Carolina, and finally home — and I was able to pack everything I needed for that trip in one big bag.  Granted, I’m not traveling with children, but if I can pack for three different climates and five weeks of travel time in one bag, surely you can consolidate your trip to one piece of luggage as well.

You may also notice increased prices for food and drinks on the plane when you fly.  Remember that you are allowed to bring food and drinks on the plane — I always fill up a water bottle inside the terminal (rather than spending $5 on a soda that will only make me have to pee on the plane) and pack a few light snacks in case the peanuts and pretzels served on board don’t satisfy.

Yes, the airlines are making lots of changes, but the fact of the matter is that these don’t have to affect you, the traveler, very much at all.  You simply need to be aware of the new guidelines and plan accordingly — but this shouldn’t really mean any major changes in your plans.  These changes will affect you very little; they will have an enormously positive impact on the environment (even if that is only a side effect and not the purpose).  But go ahead and bitch about it all if you want — bitching won’t bring fuel prices down, but it will help encourage positive change.

Every time I fly, I fantasize about what it would be like to work on a plane, either as a flight attendant or pilot. It would be great to get to travel so much and see so much of the world, and the free travel benefits would be pretty sweet. But of course there’s a down side. You wouldn’t get to choose where you go, really, and it’s essentially a customer service job, which I know from too many years of experience is just about the worst possible field to work in. And the schedule would be a bitch. By the end of each flight, I’ve talked myself out of these career ambitions yet again.

Still, I’m always curious about that life. The cons may be enough to keep me from ever having personal experience, but I’d still love to hear more about the perks. And heck, as long as I don’t have to go through the bad stuff myself, I’d enjoy those stories, too. Which is why I’ve become addicted to The Cockpit Chronicles. Kent Wien is a commercial airline pilot who blogs about his job in this new feature series.

In the days before 9/11, airlines used to allow passengers to step up, take a look around the cockpit and chat it up with the pilot(s) for a while during a flight, but those days are long gone now. The only way you’re going to see the inside of a cockpit now is to become a pilot or read The Cockpit Chronicles. Wien talks about flight schedules, airplane technology and design, and shares humorous and interesting on-the-job anecdotes. He takes great pictures from the sky, too, showing views that you can only get from the front seat of the plane.

Reading these stories makes me feel like an especially savvy traveler, as Wien explains all the airline lingo and how they operate. If you’ve ever been curious about the life of an airline employee, Cockpit Chronicles is a must-read. One thing that surprised me is that even with 15 years under his belt with one airline, Wien is still pretty junior on the seniority ladder. 80% of the pilots flying out of Boston with him have more seniority — if 4/5ths of the pilots have stuck with their jobs for 15+ years, there must be something good about the work. I’ll keep that in mind next time I consider signing up for flight school…

The following is a true story about how airport security is making the skies safer for all travelers. Shortly after Sept. 11, 2001, I took a flight to New York City to visit my brother for a week. This was at the absolute height of all the security crackdowns and paranoia, and getting through the security checkpoint was a nightmare. For my 45-minute flight, I was advised to arrive three hours early to the airport, and I needed every minute of that time, as the security lines were endless.

I had my laptop in my carry-on backpack, but all the cords were in my checked luggage, and the battery was broken, so I couldn’t turn it on without the plugs. When I got to the front of the line and realized that they were making everyone turn on their laptops for inspection, I realized I might have a problem. I started sweating about having my computer confiscated, or being detained for failing to comply with a law I didn’t even know about. I was so nervous that by the time I got to go through the metal detector, I probably really looked like I was up to something. I took off my shoes, assumed the position for my complimentary pat-down, and then approached the last TSA agent in a long line of uniforms that each traveler was required to visit.

He asked me to turn on my laptop. It was open on a table in front of us, and I started to explain. “I can’t. The battery won’t work.” I held my breath and prepared for the worst. Then he waved me through, without even touching my computer. Maybe you think I should have been relieved at the relative ease with which I made it through security, and I was, of course, but more than that I was outraged. I had just stood in line for an eighth of my whole day because heightened security was allegedly of the utmost importance, and those agents didn’t even give a crap! I’m sure if I had darker skin, or perhaps a penis, this would have been much more problematic for me, but really — if passengers have to turn on computers to guarantee they’re not actually bombs, then shouldn’t they at least PRETEND to inspect my laptop when I say I can’t turn it on?

It was then that I realized that airport security is a hoax. No one is looking for threats, or trying to protect anyone else. They’re just going through the motions as the paranoia laws dictate, because that’s what they have to do to collect a paycheck. I feel no safer for having to walk through metal detectors and put my personal items through an x-ray machine so some guy behind a screen can know my preferred toiletry brands and that I enjoy kakuro puzzles. But this revelation achieved nothing, except making me a bit more hostile toward airports, because realizing the security is BS doesn’t mean I can skip it.

Mercifully, security checkpoints aren’t as bad as they were immediately following the 2001 terrorist attacks, but it’s still a giant hassle. I’ve flown dozens of times already this year, and I’ve got some insights about getting through security that could speed it up for you and others.

The federal airport security guidelines are listed here, and it’s important to be familiar with these rules to make sure you pack accordingly. But you should also realize that just because something is permitted, that doesn’t mean it will be easy to get through security with it. The biggest change recently is the ban on liquids. It’s eased up a little bit, but you still have to follow specific instructions to get your liquids through the checkpoints. This is not worth it, as it will cause a holdup while the inspectors check to be sure you followed the guidelines properly. You can buy food and drink at inflated prices in the terminal. Unless you have something that you absolutely must bring with you, don’t even bother. Any items that have restrictions will cause delays for you and the people behind you, even if you are following the proper guidelines.

Always err on the side of caution. It’s not actually legally required for travelers to remove their shoes (if the soles are under 1″ thick) at the checkpoint now, but just try going through without taking them off. I tried walking through in a pair of no-soled flip-flops last month and got a stern reprimand from a power-tripping TSA-hole who made me remove them, even at the very moment that the security recording that plays on a loop got to the part about not having to take off shoes. It’s just not worth trying to get away with anything, even if what you’re trying to “get away with” is perfectly legal. Put any liquids, cosmetics, and things with sharp edges in your checked luggage, and remember that the airport is no place for your lace-up knee-high boots.

In addition to checking the security guidelines before you pack, you should check with any airlines you’ll be traveling with for their luggage guidelines. Different airlines have different requirements, and unprepared travelers are often stuck with fines or left scrambling to rearrange their bags at the check-in desk. Most airlines allow two pieces of checked luggage per person, weighing up to fifty pounds each, but some airlines are cutting down to allow only one free checked bag, and charging hefty fines for additional luggage.

Most airlines also allow one carry-on bag and one “personal item.” The spirit of the term “personal item” is meant to indicate a small briefcase or purse, but many travelers try to get away with just bringing two giant carry-on bags and calling the second their “personal item.” You can often get away with this, as airlines aren’t terribly strict about enforcing their carry-on rules, unless the flight is full. Then there’s simply not enough room in the overhead bins, and passengers are forced to check more luggage — this can be a problem if you’ve packed fragile things in your carry-on, expecting to be able to hang onto them during your travels. It’s best to prepare for the possibility of having to check your carry-ons, just to be safe. Better yet, pack lightly so you won’t have any problem storing your carry-on under the seat in front of you if the overhead bins fill up.

Airport security and airline regulations are constantly changing, so it’s very important to familiarize yourself with the guidelines before you fly. Proper preparations before you arrive at the airport will save you lots of time and hassle. But just in case the jerk in front of you in the security line isn’t as prepared, it’s always a good idea to bring a good book.