They look like relatively reasonable children, don’t they?  Just like any other 7 year old dressed up for Halloween.  Well, I’m here to tell you that they’ll go from normal to bat shit crazy in 40 seconds if you give them nasty Halloween candy.

In an effort to help the masses, I’m offering my advice on how to prevent your house from getting egged on Halloween.  Do not, under any circumstances (unless you like trying to get egg off your house, wash soap off your windows, or changing a slashed tire) give out any of the following:

Candy Corn
Bit O’Honey
Popcorn Balls

All of the above give children free reign to terrorize you and your pets.  I’m warning you, if you ignore this advice, be prepared to find your house and trees completely toilet papered.  Frankly, if you pass out any of the above, you totally deserve it for being a Jack Ass O’Lantern!

Happy Halloween!

My Halloween Advice to You

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