Wanderings through life, landscapes, and occasional loopiness. So pull up a log and have a bit of a sit-down ’round the virtual campfire.

She’s A Doll

All right, so I’ve been working on this goofy-ass project for about a month and it requires that I get some action figures (as opposed to get some “action,” which is a whole ‘nother kind of thing). That is the 12-inch articulated kind of action figure. You know. Like GI Joe only not.

So I’m thinking “hey, okay. Let’s see what’s out there.” I needed action figures that aren’t affiliated with movies or TV shows. Just some “generic” kinds of action figures. Granted, I grew up playing with action figures. Stereotypically, my sister went for the Barbie variety while I gravitated toward the Luke Skywalker/Han Solo kinds of action figures. It always kinda pissed me off, though, that female action figures were basically like barbie dolls with a limited range of motion, lame-o vacuous expressions, and clothes that just did not lend themselves to saving the galaxy, invading secret Mayan strongholds, or doing some international ass-kickin’.

Well, slap my booty and call me a mass-produced chemical composition. Things sure have changed since 1975. I discovered that there’s a brave new world out there with regard to action figures and FINALLY female figures kick ass. There’re also a ton of clothing and accessories you can buy to fully outfit your kick-ass female action figure and prepare her for her myriad adventures. These are definitely NOT your grandparent’s action figures. Check it:

Triad Female Action Figure

The outfit she’s wearing is called “Saturday Nite Fights” and you can find it and others at Triad Toys, which provides clothes for action figures. Mostly female. And these are some bitchin’ threads, all. Behold “Knight Runner,” here:

Triad Knight Runner Outfit


Or how about THIS one?

Female ninja, Triad Toys

“Yeah, I may be plastic and 12 inches tall, but I am going to KICK YOUR ASS with my tiny ninja sword!”

And this s*** ain’t cheap. That Knight Runner outfit? That’ll set you back about $25 U.S. And a ninja outfit? About $32 U.S. It costs almost as much to outfit your action figures as it does to buy yourself clothing. I did a little price check and found some tiny sunglasses (modeled after Oakley and Ray-Bans and that kind of thing) for $5. TINY PLASTIC SUNGLASSES, friends. Five bucks. Hell, you can buy those for yourself at one of those cart vendors in Venice Beach for that price.

Okay, so yeah. I had to get my action figures some outfits. After all, I’ve got to keep up with the plastic Joneses, here, and make sure my little plastic charges look good AND can kick some ass. But they’re gonna have to make do with just a few outfits each. And only one pair of sunglasses each.

This girl’s gotta eat, after all. And save up for some more action figures.

She’s A Doll

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