Wanderings through life, landscapes, and occasional loopiness. So pull up a log and have a bit of a sit-down ’round the virtual campfire.

Unidentified Freaky Objects

MIS PEEPS! How are you? Here’s hoping you have a fabulous week.

Some of you may have to do some traveling. Business, pleasure…for the hell of it. Well, it has come to my attention that I am currently living in a part of the country that offers an alternative to those annoying travel websites. No longer do you need to call up _________[insert annoying travel website here] and slog through endless options, trying to find just the right price only to realize that there are 14 connections involved and that you’ll be routed through Argentina to get from Denver to Boston.

Helpful tip from yers truly, livin’ large in da holla: interdimensional portals. Yep. Right here in western Colorado. Avoid those annoying “extra fees” tacked onto your plane tix. The “security fees.” The “what the hell can I and can’t I take in my carry-on?” The long security lines. And don’t EVEN worry about how many tiny-ass bags of peanuts you’re gonna get.

>p?Because you can bypass all of that and access a portal to…well, we’re still working out the kinks on that. But I’ll bet wormholes are cool this time of year. Anyway. I’m always looking for travel bargains and cheap fares. Why? Because I AM cheap, dammit. Less money on actually getting some place means more money to enjoy yourself when you get there. Whether it’s food, drink, a place to stay or…well, whatever.

So I think I might be checking out these “portals.” They don’t ever go down for “maintenance.” They aren’t ever delayed (no word yet on how often and where they’re open–hmmm, kinda like airlines…), and no matter what you take through it, you’ll probably end up butt-ass nekkid on the other side, anyway. Did you see the original Terminator? Any time you make a leap through some kind of portal, you’re nekkid on the other end. And in the Sarah Connor Chronicles. Same thing. Nekkid on the other side of a portal. Think of the money we’d save on security if we implemented interdimensional portals at airports. I’ll bet they’d let you take those bigger-than-3-oz.-tubes through.

So if you’re looking for a bargain and you don’t really care where or when you end up, join me on Grand Mesa. At the very least, it’s a nice view of the night sky. And no, you don’t have to get nekkid BEFORE you go through.

“Uh, you first, Jim. You look better nekkid then Vulcans do…”

Unidentified Freaky Objects

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